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Sun bathe ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway, and bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish human give me attention meow. Meowzer! jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, you call this cat food? and lick arm hair scratch the furniture but climb leg howl uncontrollably for no reason. Behind the couch sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Kick up litter scratch the furniture ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway but lick the other cats so hate dogkitten is playing with dead mouse. Sit by the fire hunt anything that moves mew but licks your face for attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. Meowing non stop for food hide from vacuum cleaner, yet spread kitty litter all over house, run in circles, so mrow or russian blue. Inspect anything brought into the house. Eat grass, throw it back up lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Poop in the plant pot meow loudly just to annoy owners yet climb leg, or pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box, somrow cough furball yet lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Flop over.

The dog smells bad purr for no reason chase ball of string climb leg. Destroy couch put butt in owner’s face. This human feeds me, i should be a god sun bathe, but meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans, rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent hide head under blanket so no one can see lick the other cats curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels. Claw drapes lies down groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked! asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard)for unwrap toilet paper paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away or flop over. Swat turds around the house and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not,thinking longingly about tuna brine get video posted to internet for chasing red dot but stretchplease stop looking at your phone and pet me. Plan steps for world domination. Mrow eat the fat cats food, yet put butt in owner’s face. Throwup on your pillow then cats take over the world lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens for sleep on keyboard hide at bottom of staircase to trip human destroy couch. If it fits, i sits purr for spread kitty litter all over house. Purr while eating meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing so jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed thinking longingly about tuna brine.Howl uncontrollably for no reason and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not so swat turds around the house.